Do you ever just want to get a big truck, put a PA system on the back of it, and drive through Amish Country playing Judas Priest's "Breaking the Law?"

eHarmony says Marika, an Asian/Pacific Islander from Birmingham, AL, is a match with my profile. To contact Marika, I'll have to pay eHarmony $50 to $250. When I joined eHarmony about a month ago, they were free or at least I was under the impression that they were. Then they gave you seven days of free service. But it took about a month for any matches to show up. So basically, eHarmony sucks. Again, for the dumb, eHarmony sucks.

For the past few days, I've been playing guitar a lot. My fingers hurt. I've been playing that much. First, I tried to just play with my old Strat. But that thing has battle damage. I avoid my Fat Strat because the strings are really gone. But, I just had to play the Fat Strat. I'd give anything for strings at this point.

When your strings are really dead, you just add lots of effects right? Layer them on. Oh boy. Chorus, reverb, echo, tremolo, and wah are a dead string's best friend. Then you realize you can get the same sounds with just the guitar cable, running it along bits of metal. Listen to that sustain as I run the plug between a quarter and a penny.

Marika, or any other potential match, email me. I have an idea for a trip to Amish Country.

  ¶ 10:15 PM