I just got back from driving my car. I try to drive it every day. I didn't yesterday because of the rain and the fact that I couldn't keep the car running while in reverse. Today, my car died a lot. And one time I tried to go up a hill and started going backwards. That one is new. I've never gone backwards with it in drive and me pressing on the gas. That can not be good for the car. It just can't be.

I do have some good news on the car. My thermostat started working. I can again control the heat in the car. Usually, it's either on high or off. Now I can turn it down half way. But I didn't use it today because I wanted the engine to get nice and warm, which I'm sure it really did. In fact, it had a funny burnt smell when I got out. That can't be good either.

In other news, I'm editing my short story "Angel Bound." I can't wait to share it, but it takes time. You can't rush these things. The story will be ready when it's ready.

I've been looking back at 2004 and what I've written, what I've done. I'm proud of FROM A HOLE IN THE SKY, a collection of published and original short stories. I'm proud that I reworked HAUNTED: THE SECRET OF THE HANGED MAN, a novel. I am really proud of what I've done this year. But of course, I wish I could have done so much more, written so much more. That's a lot in my head that needs out.

Also, I've been thinking about why I sometimes get rejected. Well, why I mostly get rejected. I write dark fiction. My characters sometimes use foul language or do violent things. Sometimes things are gory. Sometimes things are sexually explicit. And let's not forget religion. I love to write about religion. I don't go throwing these things in unless they belong in the story. "Angel Bound" for example, is sexually explicit, violent, and a bit gory. But there is no foul language. HAUNTED is another example of a story that doesn't have any sexually explicit or violent scenes. There isn't any foul language either. But usually, a story has at least one thing in it that I feel sometimes hinders publication. Somebody is bound to be offended by something, and I am usually writing about that something. I have a special place for rejections that tell me how offensive I am.

Unfortunately, I believe this is not an accurate view of my writings. I am not Mr. Shock. I do not write senseless violence, sex, and gore. Yeah, I've written violence, sex, and gore, but unless there's a reason for it to be there, it's not there.

I write what I write because that's what I write. I write what I want to read. At least I've always stayed true to that. You won't find me writing a story of the moment, something of a fad, or something that sells at that very moment. I'm not writing so that I can "cash in." I'm writing because I want to. And sometimes, I feel that I'm writing because I have to. 2004 has just strengthened my beliefs in that.


  ¶ 4:17 PM